Tim’s Ramblings

Ugh.

Long flight.

Let’s see…where do we start?

Once again, it was a full flight and what seemed like an empty seat next to me was gone in the last 5 minutes before the door closed. Dammit. I was soooo happy until then too even though, you guessed it, another Chinese Baby Adoption Tour decided to board my flight….again…..

So even before the door closes I have babies all around me crying and screaming. Yay.

Then the dude in the seat next to me shows up. Apparently a French Canadian. I only know this because he spoke with a heavy French accent and told the flight attendant he was Canadian when she was handing out immigration papers. Now I have nothing against the French or the Canadian but…yeah….that’s what he was.

Aaaaaaand as soon as he sat down next to me I can already smell him. He smelled like he hasn’t taken a shower in about 3 days. Now…some women might find his stink musky and manly and sexy. To me, it smells like BO and in an enclosed space, it’s overpowering. If that’s not bad enough (remember…still have babies screaming everywhere), he curls up and falls asleep…which is fine but his head is RIGHT next to my shoulder/side of my face. I mean…he’s not nuzzling me but it’s pretty damn close. And soon, to my horror, I realize that not only does he stink but he has bad breath too….. So every once in a while, depending on the current of air in the plane, this horrid stench wafts over my face.

…kill me….

I somehow manage to survive all this and in the last hour of the flight they serve “breakfast”. The food smells kinda bad to begin with, and I’m sitting next to a stinky dude who has now been sitting next to me for the past 10 hours breathing into my face, and what does he do? After eating his food, he proceeds to eat 2 bananas that he pulled out of somewhere.

Let me tell you…the combination of BO and banana? Not pleasant. At all. Actually…pretty damn nauseating.

*sigh*

Of course, the border guards are jackasses too. I mean…you figure you work in a place where you deal with foreign visitors EVERY DAY. They can’t speak English dammit! He tells this Chinese woman she has to go to another room probably because she has too much money with her and has to pay taxes. He mumbles to her in fast English to go over to some door that I didn’t even see. He then watches her try to go to another door and proceed sto yell at her that it’s not that one and it’s the other one. Then turns around and lets out a big sigh and a “jeezus…” before he deals with me. Nice. Real nice welcome to the US buddy.

He then looks at me and my green card and proceeds to literally wave the greencard in front of me and start asking me in a very annoyed tone “How did you get this? How did you get a green card huh?” That was a new question. I told him I was a student at the time and I got it with my parents to which he snorts and tells me “Well there’s only 2 ways you could have gotten this anyway.” Thanks dude. Then in an accusatory tone he askes me if I was really in Japan for business. I tell him yes and he asks me AGAIN. Um…dude…I know I’m not in a suit but that’s because I was on a horrid flight for 11 hours. What the hell do you want from me? Further interrogation about the stuff I declared and finally he pretty much tosses my passport and greencard to me and sends me on my way.

You know….I know this is a stressful job. But really. Is this truly the first few faces you want any new immigrant to see when they enter the US for the first time? Then again….there seems to be a major anti-immigration agenda going on anyway…maybe this is part of it.

Blah.

Anyway, just a few more minute before I head to my gate for my last flight back to Cleveland. Will be good to be hojme. (-_-)

My beer dispensing machine post has been picked up by Gizmodo! Thanks to whoever tipped them off.

Edit: oops…the link to the article is here: Gizmodo Post

Oddly it must have been a reader of my LiveJournal blog since they linked it to that one and not this one.

Of course, this means I have to read the comments on Gizmodo…which mostly either says US beer blows and/or Japanese beer blows and/or Asahi has no head so they have to compensate etc… Heh. And someone commented on my post there saying it’s old news and asked if they put it out in general public. Hey now. Even I go into the “executive lounge” buddy. And it’s not really executive if anyone that pays enough can get in. *hmph*

The best was a dude named rainbowwarrior spamming my YouTube post with one comment after another about why everyone should boycott business/tours to Japan due to our tendency to eat whale meat and horse meat…and makes claims about how the horse meat we eat come from American horses that are stolen.

….great….

So those got removed awfully quick.

The price of fame?

Heh heh heh.

(^_^)

Sitting in Detroit’s WorldClubs lounge…oh I’m sorry….*ahem*…executive lounge…and I see now cool beer dispenser here! Posting about my horrid horrid flight back to the US in a bit. It keeps me awake…

Well…ok…maybe not the greatest but it’s damn cool.

Behold, the Asahi beer dispensing machine!

What may seemingly look like just another drink machine is, in actuality, far far more. Located in the Northwest Worldclubs lounge in Narita Airport, this machine is a marvel of Japanese engineering and love of the perfect beer.

See….not only does it serve beer but it tilts the glass while pouring to give you the perfect pour and THEN even makes sure there is juuuust the right head on the beer at the end.

Pefect!

I need one of these in my house.

Hell…I need one of these in the office!

To see this machine work in all its glory, check out the video I took as it poured me my second glass (the first video came out bad so I just HAD to get another one right? RIGHT??)

(^_^)

…now if this annoyingly loud drunk Japanese businessman would just shut the hell up and stop talking on his cel, my life would be almost good….. Goddammit….